Public service announcement #2

IMPORTANT: I saved the first draft of this post after the first day of jury duty, which lasted three days. This is it:

Things you can take away from being a juror with UC, part one (in a series of one, I hope):

1) It is absolutely impossible to fart in a courtroom – even silently – without anyone else knowing that you are the source;

2) Pursuant to this, holding it for the hours-at-a-time stretch means that you are going to make a very joyful noise indeed when you are finally let out of the courtroom, but you should first remember that the jury room into which you are first dismissed is a small room indeed and that everyone can hear everything you do in the bathroom in there, so you should probably wait until you get outside of the entire building and far enough away that no one can trace the noises back to you;

3) This is what you get for loading up on red meat and actively plotting to stinkbomb your way out of serving on a jury. For the most ironic outcome, not only will the fates decree that you serve on that jury, but they will also decree that you very, very quickly realize item 1) and much more slowly and agonizingly realize item 2), and wonder why you set about to be so devious in the first place.

One awesome thing about this jury service is that I have found my new favorite lunch spot on the Downtown Mall. Since links still don’t work here, copy and paste this to read an article in a local weekly newspaper about Song Song’s Zhou & Bing (and yes, that is me who made the ninth comment):

If you’re where I am, go there and say hi to her, and enjoy the excellent food and super-friendly service. And if you’re not where I am, come visit me and I’ll take you there. 🙂

IMPORTANT AGAIN: I’m now writing this within an hour of having arrived at home from the final day of the trial, about which I can now talk. What I wrote above now seems so flip, but it pretty accurately sums up my state of mind for the first day, day and a half of this trial – it was still sort of novel, not too much of a pain in the rear, and a nice excuse to eat lunch downtown (I’ve now had every menu item at Song Song’s and they’re all excellent).

This last day was so, so much harder than I was expecting. Right now I have a beer in front of me that is more needed than any I’ve had in a good long time, and I can say no more about the trial at this moment except this: It is my sincere hope that none of you reading this ever in your life will have to be responsible for convicting a man of second-degree murder and then sentencing him to 15 years in prison. It is a gross understatement to say that it is not an easy thing.

What I need right now is sleep, and lots of it, and a good run tomorrow and some quality girl time with some of my favorite ladies. Jeebus willing, I’ll get all of those things. But I can’t shake the thought that there’s at least one person in this world who won’t.


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